Depolarizing Public Discussion: Strategies for Disagreeing Better

As we approach another presidential campaign, the atmosphere is already thick with anticipation, passion, and division. The airwaves and social media feeds are saturated with fiery rhetoric and polarizing statements. This climate of divisiveness can fracture communities, families, and friendships. In fact there is one thing that most Americans agree on: polarization is a problem. However, there is hope. We can learn to disagree better.

Over the last eight years, a group of committed volunteers has worked across the country to bring civility back to public discussion. Today, Braver Angels is leading the nation’s largest cross-partisan, volunteer-led movement to bridge the partisan divide for the good of our democratic republic. As we head into another contentious election season, Braver Angels is equipping Americans across the political spectrum to work together and demand the same of politicians from both parties.

Through free workshops, online resources, local alliances, and partnerships, Braver Angels is creating a movement to depolorize and lower the temperature on political issues. By embracing strategies aimed at depolarizing public discussion, we can foster a more constructive and compassionate dialogue. 

The Need to Tone Down the Rhetoric

In the heat of political campaigns, it’s easy to get caught up in the intensity of the moment. The stakes feel incredibly high, and emotions run deep. Yet, this often leads to heightened rhetoric that inflames rather than informs. Words are powerful; they can build bridges or burn them. By consciously choosing to tone down our rhetoric, we can create a space where meaningful conversation can occur.

Toning down rhetoric doesn’t mean watering down our beliefs; it means expressing them in a way that invites dialogue rather than defensiveness. It means prioritizing clarity, curiosity, and understanding over winning an argument. It starts with seeking to understand and prioritize relationships over changing minds.

Depolarizing Within: Change Starts with Ourselves

Before we can change the world, we must first change ourselves. Depolarization begins within each of us. This requires a willingness to reflect on our own biases and preconceptions. It’s about acknowledging that we, too, contribute to the polarized atmosphere when we dismiss or dehumanize those who think differently from us.

How often have you found yourself saying, “I don’t understand those people”? ‘Those people’ is a signal, sometimes called “othering,” and an indicator of polarizing thoughts. Check your thinking. Keeping an open mind and listening for understanding are choices each of us can make.

Self-reflection is not easy. It requires honesty and humility. Start by asking yourself why you hold certain beliefs and how you respond to opposing viewpoints. Are you open to the possibility that you might be wrong? Are you willing to understand where others are coming from? This internal work is crucial because it sets the foundation for external actions.

Leaning Into Listening with Curiosity

One of the most effective ways to depolarize is by listening—truly listening—with curiosity. Too often, we listen to respond rather than to understand. When someone with an opposing view speaks, our minds race to form counterarguments instead of absorbing what is being said.

Listening with curiosity means being genuinely interested in the other person’s perspective. It involves asking open-ended questions and being open to the answers, even if they challenge your own beliefs. This approach fosters respect and understanding. It demonstrates that you value the person, not just the debate.

Imagine a conversation where both parties are more interested in learning from each other than in being right. Such a conversation is not only more productive but also more enjoyable. It transforms a potential conflict into an opportunity for growth.

The Courage to Engage in Conversations with Opposing Views

It takes courage to step out of our echo chambers and engage in conversations with those who hold opposing views. It’s easier and more comfortable to surround ourselves with like-minded individuals. However, real progress happens when we dare to venture into challenging discussions.

Courageous conversations require a commitment to civility and respect. They are not about converting the other person to your viewpoint but about finding common ground and understanding. It’s about recognizing the humanity in each other and valuing diverse perspectives.

Often when people live in an echo chamber, they may repeat phrases they don’t fully understand. When we ask questions like, “I’m curious how your thoughts about this topic came to be?” we can tap into core values, hopes, and dreams and work to find common ground.

Think of these conversations as an adventure. They might be uncomfortable at times, but they also have the potential to be enlightening. They can reveal commonalities you never knew existed and help dismantle stereotypes and misconceptions.

Finding Common Ground Based on Values

At the heart of depolarization is the ability to find common ground. Despite our differences, we often share core values such as family, community, security, and fairness. By focusing on these shared values, we can build bridges of understanding and cooperation.

For example, most Americans agree on a desire for free and fair elections. There are different paths to achieve that value. Bravers Angels has an excellent report on how we can rebuild trust in our elections, based on thousands of conversations with liberals and conservatives seeking common ground.

Finding common ground doesn’t mean compromising your principles. It means recognizing that even those we disagree with are motivated by values that are important to them. By identifying and respecting these values, we can create a foundation for dialogue and collaboration.

For instance, if you’re discussing healthcare, you might find that both sides agree on the importance of providing care to those in need, even if they differ on how to achieve it. This common value can serve as a starting point for a more constructive conversation.

Braver Angels is partnering with hundreds of organizations to bring conversations to local communities. Partners include chambers of commerce, local Rotary clubs, state school board associations, school administrator groups, universities, church organizations, League of Women Voters, cities, counties, and the major political parties.

Braver Angels Minnesota has launched a Reduce the Rancor Campaign in partnership with the leaders of the Republican and Democratic parties, along with a dozen other partners. “We’re very excited to be in conversation with David Hann and Ken Martin about how we can get more participation,” said Michelle Witte, Executive Director of the League of Women Voters of Minnesota. “The League of Women Voters has 35 local leagues with 2,300 members. We’re in 60 Minnesota counties.  We observe. We educate. We advocate for fair and
accurate voting.”

Recognizing the Complexity of Issues

The complex issues our society faces are not solved with one-way thinking. Social change happens on a continuum. We must acknowledge the multifaceted nature of these challenges and avoid oversimplified solutions. This requires a willingness to engage in discussions and to appreciate the shades of gray that exist in most issues. By doing so, we can foster a more informed and thoughtful public discourse, one that is capable of addressing the root causes of our societal problems rather than merely treating the symptoms.

As we navigate the election season, let us commit to depolarizing our public discussions. By toning down rhetoric, reflecting on our own biases, listening with curiosity, engaging in courageous conversations, and finding common ground, we can foster a more respectful and productive dialogue. Recognizing the complexity of issues and embracing the continuum of social change will enable us to tackle challenges more effectively. Organizations like Braver Angels provide valuable resources and guidance on this journey. Together, we can create a political climate that is not only more civil but also more capable of addressing the real challenges we face as a society.

Let’s embrace this opportunity to lead by example and show that unity and understanding are possible even in times of deep division. By meeting people where they are, reserving judgement, valuing relationships, and honoring dignity, we can find common ground and move forward together.